Cute and funny

Cute:
We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her - and a man who compliments her. A man who spends money on her - and a man who invests in her. A man who views her as property - and a man who views her properly. A man who lusts after her - and a man who loves her. A man who believes he is God's gift to women - and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man.

Funny:
(About Mitt Romney, a mormon presidential candidate. Probably only funny if you're mormon or know a lot about mormon culture)

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll start the State of the Union with the words: “I wasn’t going to get up, but the Spirit just carried me up here.”

Mitt is so Mormon, he asks donors to stack chairs after fundraising dinners.

Mitt is so Mormon he isn’t as concerned about getting American youth jobs as he is about getting them married.

Mitt is so Mormon that he refers to Congress as “The Great and Spacious Building.”

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll assign a friend to every new member of Congress.

Mitt is so Mormon that he’s installing two basketball hoops at the inaugural ball so there’s a place to hang decorations.

Mitt is so Mormon that the Marine Band will play “Praise to the Man” when he enters a room.

Mitt is so Mormon, he will add the phrases “every fiber of my being” and “beyond a shadow of a doubt” to the presidential oath of office.